The Truth About Beauty

The Truth About Beauty
(In recognition of “Beautiful Women Month”)


Growing up, I had one completely original, self-created philosophy on physical beauty that could be summed up in the few lines I oft told family …

“Why should I care what I look like?” I would say. “ I don’t have to see myself. Isn’t that really everyone else’s problem?"

Amazingly, the idea – as quote worthy now as it was in my teens, and as wonderfully reassuring on a bad hair day – still rings true.

And still, for women, how amazing that what is everyone else’s “problem” so easily becomes our own! In regards to how we view ourselves, women are so easily influenced by the messages society sends, by what we reinforce even amongst ourselves.

Disappointingly, the reality for women, as well as for men, is that we daily succumb to and are burdened by the superficial.

Alas, even I, who have been known to bleakly comment that people are only dressed-up skeletons anyhow, have been known to brush my hair and teeth. And I might even have smiled.

Once.

So, with ongoing tales of plastic surgeries, anorexia/bulimia, diet crazes and numerous other self-imagery issues for women, what can be done to change women’s attitudes about the truth about beauty?

Perhaps it could begin with the idea that the real meaning/definition of beauty doesn’t need to rest in the hands of high-powered, (can we assume male?) media executives, reality-television-show and movie review critics, or aspiring Stepford-like husbands in search of trophy wives. The most empowering truths about beauty can be offered to women and girls from other women -- through support, encouragement, acceptance and the simple, ultimate truth that genuine beauty's strength is that it is not tied to issues of height, weight, eye and hair-color- it is not time and flesh-bound (Ultimately, lipo and Botox are no match for time ... the skeleton holds its champion title as the body’s final, physical remnant.)

In fact, one related powerful message for me rests in a memory from childhood and a few memorable incidents with a friend’s parent. Speaking to her (at times) unruly daughter, my friend’s mother would tell her, “Be nice. Don’t be ugly.”

What a transforming thought! That beauty was a choice! (And then, didn’t that mean actions, and not blonde curls, could warrant admiration?! I always thought my friend’s mother was the coolest Mom for saying what she said.) But then, didn’t we always really realize beauty could radiate from our deeds – from our actions and words, from the respect and kindness we could offer others?

I know that is the beauty I will always seek in others – and strive for in myself. And not bound to a world, a time, or a gender, it is a truth that men, as well as women, can recognize. (Believe it or not.)

Which all leads to the inspiration for what I have written here … a poem, attributed to the late actress Audrey Hepburn, which was recently e-mailed to me in recognition of “Beautiful Women Month.”

It came as somewhat of a surprise, in research, to learn that instead of Audrey, the work is actually believed* to have been written by the late Sam Levenson, an American humorist and author. And a man.

One who perhaps understood the real truth about beauty.

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed.

Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.

One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

--Sam Levenson

Of course, it was also Sam who reportedly also had the following thoughts.

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it."

And

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped."

* Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Levenson" & thinkexist.com (not great sources, I realize, but perhaps there's a bit of truth to be found in them ...)

I never knew him. But I think I would have liked Sam.