These are the Days of Our Online Lives

"People won't remember what you did. People won't remember what you said. But people will remember how you made them feel."

-Unknown


New Year's Day, 2008 …

Just a few weeks ago, people around the world woke to a New Year. And so, together, somehow we've managed to shed yet another year of our lives – a stray string unravelled behind us in the long, nebulous skein of time. If we dared to gain a backward glance at the previous 12 months -- what would we see?

In a recent blog, BusinessWeek Senior Writer Stephen Baker ponders what he calls “the long tails of our lives.” He asks the question: How will you be remembered 100 years from now? Interestingly, he points out that it may not be for what you think – in other words, people might remember you for something false, or confused.

This, of course, leads to a few questions – among them, to what extent can we influence others’ opinions or impact their memories? And – just how concerned should we really be with the perception that others’ have of us, or our power to alter that perception?

Reports on our current narcissistic society (See Christine Rosen’s excellent piece, “Virtual Friendship and the New Narcissism”) seem to indicate that within the online world in which we now live, we are obsessed with image, status and celebrity perhaps more than ever. Thanks to everything from blogs to online social networking sites, today, the age-old quest for friendship, acceptance and admiration has gone insidiously public and is easily transformed/manipulated into something artificial and even truly tragic.

Because they can offer a sense of connectedness and community, I believe online communication tools (such as interactive blogs and friend-packed Facebook accounts) can be useful as bridges to real-life relationships and friendships. Unfortunately, the tragic case of Megan Meier* (the 13-year-old girl who committed suicide as the result of a MySpace hoax) is perhaps yet another reminder of the questionable structure of these newfound paths and the consequences of taking them. What sort of strength and impact are these online “bridges” having in the real, versus virtual, world? And at what weight do these connections warp or buckle?

As long we can understand and differentiate between the reality and fiction of online interaction and invention and as long as humaneness can guide humanity**, it is my hope that these bridges are ones that we can easily and safely cross – but most importantly, taking along with us a shred of something that is still genuine and worthy of admiration.

*Interestingly, as a result of this case, many communities are reportedly creating laws that makes cyber harassment a misdemeanor -- in Megan Meier's home town of Dardenne Prairie, Mo., the Board of Aldermen passed just such a law, meting out a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail or a $500 fine or both for each violation.

**Okay. We're pretty much doomed.